Attitude Changes. Your spouse exhibits signs of low self-esteem. You notice your spouse has a sense of confusion about him or herself. Your spouse is more negative than before. Your spouse becomes more critical of you. Your spouse seems to be picking fights more often. Your spouse gets very defensive if you mention infidelity or affairs.
When you ask for reassurance about cheating, you do not feel satisfied with the response. Lying and Avoidance. You feel as if you are being avoided. You find your partner has been lying to you about a variety of things. Your spouse seems more secretive. Your partner abandons religious faith.
Your spouse seems bored with you, a job, your children, hobbies, or even life in general.
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Your spouse has become lazy, especially around the house. Your spouse doesn't show any jealousy about you, no matter what you say. Your spouse is indifferent to family events like birthdays and holidays. You notice charges on credit card statements that don't make sense. Money becomes more of an issue between the two of you. Your spouse stops planning for large purchases such as a trip, buying a house, starting a renovation, etc.
A Change in Technology Use. You notice cloud sharing has suddenly been switched off on your devices. Your spouse stops using shared devices altogether. Your spouse reduces their use of social media. Your partner clears the browser history on the home computer. Keep an eye out for transactions at restaurants, hotels, flower shops, or jewelry stores. Purchases made in these places while you are not around or those for odd amounts should prompt you to research more. While infidelity will be hard to prove if you keep your finances separate, watch for small clues like a change in spending habits or extra secrecy surrounding their funds.
If your once frugal partner is suddenly driving around in an expensive car, or wearing pricey jewelry, but their financial picture has not changed, be wary. They might be spending their money lavishly to show-off for someone else or might be receiving romantic gifts. Does it seem like your significant other suddenly always has someplace else to be?
Are they making small or frequent trips to the "grocery store" or "appointments" but return with little to show? A partner who is guilty of cheating will often try to find spare time in their day to spend with their lover. Someone who is particularly confident in their ability to keep their affair secret may stay away from home for long periods of time. If your partner's job suddenly seems to take them away on the weekends, or on lots of overnight trips, you may want to start checking the facts.
When someone cheats they go into dating mode. Think of how most people act when they are trying to attract a mate new clothes, new haircuts, new cologne or perfume. If your partner takes a new interest in their appearance for no reason, they may just be trying to catch the eye of someone else.
Are you seeing any of these behaviors in your spouse?
It is a major red flag when the changes in grooming happen in areas most people do not see. If they are suddenly preoccupied with how their abs look, or how well-kept their body hair is, they might be trying to impress someone who is looking underneath their clothes. As amazing as our modern technology is, the privacy it offers creates a breeding ground for infidelity.
With the ability to erase text messages, edit contact information, and assign special ringtones to certain people, your partner can easily hide a lover. Features like text messaging, Facetime, and e-mail mean your partner can have constant access to someone else without your knowledge. The conversation never has to stop unless they put the phone down. If it seems like your partner always needs to be on or on their phone, or any other technology device , you might want to express concern about where they are directing their attention.
A partner who is getting all their intimate needs met elsewhere often lacks the willingness to have them met where they're supposed to. If your partner no longer expresses an interest in physical touches like hand holding, kissing, or even sex, you are dealing with one of the major signs your partner is cheating. Often, the lack of intimacy goes beyond the bedroom too. If it is challenging to have a long, meaningful conversation with your partner or if they do not even want to be around you, it is time to find out if they are meeting their need for affection elsewhere.
If your partner has a sudden a change of heart about a moral issue, you should ask questions.
For example, if they always believed that sex before marriage was wrong, or that having kids out-of-wedlock was taboo, but suddenly they are becoming much more accepting of different ideas, try to find out why. If their moral views surrounding relationships, marriage, sex, and loyalty change significantly they might be trying to justify or excuse their behavior. This is especially important for partners who used to attend church or religious events frequently, but no longer show an interest.
They may be avoiding these settings out of guilt or shame. A partner who is cheating is naturally drawn to the positive aspects of their new lover. This might make you seem like second-best, or lesser in their eyes. If your partner is suddenly critical about your looks, your behavior, or the things you do for them, you might want to start questioning whether they are comparing you to someone else. Most of the signs mentioned apply to my spouse-who swears he's not cheating. He just turned 50 and suddenly decided to lose weight and bought a bicycle and started riding. He's takes his phone everywhere, in the bathroom either showering or sitting on the toilet and he stopped keeping receipts for things like meals on business trips.
He also will volunteer to go to the store for me for one or two little items but will be gone for well over an hour when we live 5 minutes from the store. Our sex life has waned since I've gone through menopause. When I ask him about cheating on me, he emphatically denies it and tells me he's not. He lets me check his emails, texts etc. I want to believe him, I really do.
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If I can't trust my husband then the last 25 years of my life have been a lie. I know what you are going through, as I just went through this myself. I know for my case, she was always two steps ahead of me until I caught her with the guy. It is unfortunate to come to a point where you have to spy on them but sometimes they will not leave the the option. If you strongly feel that there is something going on, you can either investigate or leave.
You having been with your husband for 25 years, I would assume you can read him accurately. I just had a troublesome feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was not right, but I had no evidence.
12 Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating On You
Whenever I tried to discuss my concerns with her she always came up with some sort of plausible explanation. Soon, though, she dropped the mother of all betrayal bombs on me and our relationship came to a skreeching halt. Funniest thing, though, by that time I wasn't particularly shocked or surprised - I had a gut feeling it was coming. Am suspecting that my fiance is cheating on me with someone he claims to be just a friend but the feeling is strong.
Robert Weiss, Ph. Are you worried that your spouse or kids are using porn? Part 1. Are you ready to give up on dating rather than end up with another loser? Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today. Who Cares About Quantum Computing? A Different Kind of Identity. The nofilter Lie. Robert Weiss Ph.
Follow me on Twitter. Friend me on Faceook. Connect with me on LinkedIn. But how can you know for sure? My husband has Submitted by Christina on March 12, - pm. Could be signs of infidelity Submitted by Emily on June 30, - pm. How to catch cheating spouse Submitted by Nellie Rhode on February 16, - am.
I know what you are going Submitted by Cameron on March 9, - pm. Am suspecting that my fiance Submitted by Precious on June 4, - am.
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